Grasshopper....Be Gone!
I don’t remember a time I’ve struggle (with depression, etc.) as much as I have these past three weeks. So much so, that I’ve been unable to read or write or ...... But I guess the real truth is each time I’ve looked at the Bible (lengthy looks), I’ve made a choice....just like the eleven spies.
Numbers is a place that God has always spoken....to my heart....revealing truths my mind already knows, but my heart does not want to embrace. In good seasons, it embraces them readily, but in hard seasons....well, avoidance is the name of the game. And my current season is more full of darkness than light. Why? Because I choose the ‘sight-walk’ of the 11 rather than the ‘faith-walk’ of Caleb.
Were you to see the pages of my Bible, you would discover the margins so full of notes I’ve made on prior journeys here, you would find it hard to believe it remains an area of struggle for me. Where or where is that victory that is mine in Christ? Why the lack of “Caleb-ness” in my own sojourning? Do I secretly love the desert? Do I fear to embrace the “land flowing with milk and honey”? Do I want to see myself as a grasshopper when over and over and over God has shown me in my own life the victory in Him that simply awaits my willingness to reach out and grasp it?
I don’t want to be reminded that sight.....that doubting.....is a REJECTION of GOD!!! That the heart of the issue lies very simply, not in believing IN GOD, but simply BELIEVING GOD..
I think that is why my spirit has been avoiding reading these passages, again, this week. I already know where the battle lies. I’m just, for some reason, not willing to make the choice aright.
Thank God His love encompasses me, even here. Truly He is long suffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression. It’s rather humbling, actually mortifying, to admit my doubting (more aptly ‘wallowing’) is sin. But it is! And he forgives....hallelujah!!
Caleb held, clung, to a truth. It lighted his way. It cast out any temptation to ‘sight-walk’ and enabled him to declare with such boldness, If the LORD delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey.’ Only do no rebel against the LORD, no fear the people of the land, for they are our bread....”
Colossians 3:1-2 states it with undeniable clarity: ...seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth..
A child of God can never be a grasshopper! He may choose to look at himself as such, but it is never what he is. Anakins are nothing compared to the awesomeness of God...the magnitude of who He is....the power of His presence with us. As Caleb knew and experienced first hand in Joshua, God never misses the target, even when the Anakin surround His beloved. And me, well, I’m His beloved. I’m tired of the desert, I don’t want to be sent back there....I’m eager to enter the Land of Promise.
Numbers is a place that God has always spoken....to my heart....revealing truths my mind already knows, but my heart does not want to embrace. In good seasons, it embraces them readily, but in hard seasons....well, avoidance is the name of the game. And my current season is more full of darkness than light. Why? Because I choose the ‘sight-walk’ of the 11 rather than the ‘faith-walk’ of Caleb.
Were you to see the pages of my Bible, you would discover the margins so full of notes I’ve made on prior journeys here, you would find it hard to believe it remains an area of struggle for me. Where or where is that victory that is mine in Christ? Why the lack of “Caleb-ness” in my own sojourning? Do I secretly love the desert? Do I fear to embrace the “land flowing with milk and honey”? Do I want to see myself as a grasshopper when over and over and over God has shown me in my own life the victory in Him that simply awaits my willingness to reach out and grasp it?
I don’t want to be reminded that sight.....that doubting.....is a REJECTION of GOD!!! That the heart of the issue lies very simply, not in believing IN GOD, but simply BELIEVING GOD..
I think that is why my spirit has been avoiding reading these passages, again, this week. I already know where the battle lies. I’m just, for some reason, not willing to make the choice aright.
Thank God His love encompasses me, even here. Truly He is long suffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression. It’s rather humbling, actually mortifying, to admit my doubting (more aptly ‘wallowing’) is sin. But it is! And he forgives....hallelujah!!
Caleb held, clung, to a truth. It lighted his way. It cast out any temptation to ‘sight-walk’ and enabled him to declare with such boldness, If the LORD delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey.’ Only do no rebel against the LORD, no fear the people of the land, for they are our bread....”
Colossians 3:1-2 states it with undeniable clarity: ...seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth..
A child of God can never be a grasshopper! He may choose to look at himself as such, but it is never what he is. Anakins are nothing compared to the awesomeness of God...the magnitude of who He is....the power of His presence with us. As Caleb knew and experienced first hand in Joshua, God never misses the target, even when the Anakin surround His beloved. And me, well, I’m His beloved. I’m tired of the desert, I don’t want to be sent back there....I’m eager to enter the Land of Promise.
posted by brooklet | 1:20 PM
1 Comments:
DeAnna, you're not the only one who lacks 'Calebness'! And sometimes, admitting it, writing it down is the first step into the promised land. Blessings!
Post a Comment
<< Home